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Smart ways to shield children in a divorce

Divorce is hard on Minnesota families, just like other families around the country. What's best for the children is paramount in a divorce, and parents need to cooperate in that very delicate situation - which is not always easy.

There are things that you can actively do to make your children more secure during a divorce. Deciding to mediate or take a shared approach will keep the arguments down and will possibly make the divorce process quicker. Come up with a parenting plan. This way, children won't be around too much hostility if there is any.

Always remind the children that the divorce has nothing to do with them. Many times, children keep their in feelings of blame around divorce, believing that they must be the cause. Remind them that the problems are between the adults only.

Never let the children see a fight between the parents. Also, do not question them about their other home when they are with you. Keep the children's visits as light and enjoyable as you can. It will make them more comfortable with a situation they are just starting to adjust to.

Schedule an appointment with an individual and family therapist. The help of a therapist for your children could make all the difference. It provides them with an impartial party to help work through any sadness or anger that they have. It also lets them be open about their feelings. A therapist for the parents to talk to will also help them deal with the feelings all divorces bring up.

Lastly, you must take time for yourself while going through a divorce, which is a very stressful life event. Trying to navigate through a divorce, child custody or any other situation can prove to be a daunting task. Hiring the right attorney who will look out for your interests will undoubtedly make the whole process go much smoother.

Source:, "5 Ways to Protect Children During Divorce" Deborah Anderson Bialis, Nov. 25, 2013

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