Marriage is full of many ups and downs. However, when the downs significantly begin to outweigh the ups, it may be time to take stock of a marriage as well as one’s own part in contributing to its unhappiness. As an individual ages, experiences as well as responsibilities and shifting perspectives and life goals change and evolve. Rarely does a 50-year-old have the same concerns, priorities and aspirations as when he or she was 20. It’s also true that attributes deemed desirable to 20-year-old are often not as desirable or important to a 50-year-old.
In some cases, a couple ultimately divorces because one or both spouses realize that the very things they once found endearing or irresistible in a spouse are now viewed as being annoying and undesirable. There are many factors that may contribute to this shift in perspective including aging, having children and changing values or life goals.
Take for example a wife who previously loved the fact that her husband was carefree and always the life of the party. However, as the years progress and a mortgage and children enter the picture, the woman may come to view the attributes that first drew her to her husband to now be annoying and childish. In other cases, spouses simply weren’t compatible from the start. In these types of marriages, often one or both spouses were willing to settle in order to fulfill a personal need.
There’s a saying related to the fact that change is the only constant in life. These wise words often resonate with men and women who are experiencing marital problems. In some cases, marital problems can be worked through. There are times, however, when it’s best for all involved parties that a couple divorce.
Source: The Huffington Post, Your Relationship Is in Trouble: Has Your Partner Changed or Just Your View?,” Michael S. Broder, Ph. D., March 13, 2014