If you’re preparing for a divorce consultation, you may wonder what questions a divorce lawyer will ask and how to prepare. Divorce attorneys ask specific questions to understand your legal situation, protect your rights, and develop a strategy tailored to your family, finances, and goals.
This is a huge step toward securing the future you want for yourself. We know the process seems daunting right now. But it’s our job as attorneys to help demystify the process — and that’s exactly what we’ll do at your first consultation. From there, we’ll be with you every step of the way, helping you to understand your options and assisting you in choosing the path that’s best for you.
Below are 13 of the most common questions a divorce lawyer will ask, along with clear explanations of why each question matters and how your answers affect your case.
1. What is your current living arrangement?
In short: Divorce lawyers ask about your living situation because it affects custody, finances, and property rights.
Whether you and your spouse still live together, are separated, or live with others can influence temporary custody orders, spousal support, and who remains in the marital home. Living arrangements may also affect claims related to abandonment or financial responsibility.
2. How long have you been separated?
In short: The separation date is important for identifying which assets and debts are considered marital versus separate property.
Additionally, decisions on child custody, alimony, property division, and other matters may sometimes be affected by periods of physical separation.
3. Do you have children together?
In short: Children change the legal focus of a divorce.
Among the most difficult parts of divorce are the issues of child custody and child support. Your divorce attorney will go over with you the many types of custody arrangements, how child support is calculated, and how the court decides custody.
Courts prioritize the best interests of the child, so details about schooling, routines, and caregiving roles matter.
In order to develop a strategy to defend your parental rights, your divorce lawyer will also want to know what your goals are.
4. What are your primary concerns?
In short: Your concerns help your lawyer protect what matters most to you.
At our firm, we sometimes phrase this question as, “What keeps you up at night?” This often helps our clients get to the heart of the matter — the most important issues in their divorce that they want to make sure their attorney fights for.
Perhaps you aren’t the breadwinner of the family, and you’re afraid you’ll be left with nothing if you pursue divorce. Or, alternatively, you may be concerned that everything you’ve worked so hard for will just be handed to your partner in a divorce.
Knowing your non-negotiables will make it easier for your lawyer to develop a plan of action to help you. The sooner they are aware of your goals, the better, so your attorney can work to make sure that you get what is most important to you.
5. What is your income?
In short: Income information is essential for support calculations.
Your lawyer uses income details to estimate child support and spousal support obligations. This includes wages, bonuses, self-employment income, and other recurring sources. Accurate information prevents future disputes and court challenges.
6. What assets do you and your spouse own?
In short: Asset disclosure determines what may be divided in the divorce.
Divorce lawyers ask about bank accounts, retirement plans, real estate, businesses, investments, and valuable personal property. They also want to know when each asset was acquired, as timing affects whether it is considered marital or separate property. Any financial assets or accounts that you and your spouse share will also be important for your divorce lawyer to know, such as checking, savings, or investment accounts.
Make sure to list the assets you had before you got married and the ones you gained or inherited during the marriage. Your divorce lawyer can help you determine which financial assets are shared and which are separate. If you are unsure whether you have any assets that are separate from your spouse, your attorney can help you.
7. Do you or your spouse have any debts?
In short: Debts are divided just like assets.
Mortgages, credit cards, student loans, and tax obligations must be identified and allocated. Even if a debt is in one spouse’s name, it may still be considered marital depending on when and why it was incurred.
Further reading: Can a judgment against me affect my spouse?
8. Do you have a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement?
In short: Existing agreements can override default divorce laws.
If you signed a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, your lawyer needs to review it early. These agreements may dictate how property, support, and other issues are handled, potentially simplifying or limiting disputes.
9. Has there been any history of domestic conflict or safety concerns?
In short: Safety issues affect custody and court protections.
Divorce lawyers must know about any history of domestic conflict, protective orders, or safety concerns involving children. This information helps determine whether emergency motions, supervised parenting time, or additional safeguards are needed.
Your lawyer can also help advise you on whether or not you should pursue an order of protection and how waiting to pursue one can affect your case down the road.
10. Are there any ongoing legal or financial issues?
In short: Other legal matters can complicate a divorce.
Pending lawsuits, bankruptcies, criminal cases, or tax problems can affect divorce timing and outcomes. Your lawyer needs the full picture to avoid unintended consequences and coordinate legal strategies.
11. Was there any addiction present in the marriage?
In short: If marital funds were used to pay for one spouse's addiction, that can affect asset division.
It’s very important that your attorney is made aware of any addiction in the marriage, whether that is a drug addiction, an alcohol addiction, or even a gambling addiction.
Additionally, it is important for your attorney to be aware of any addictions so that proactive steps can be taken to protect assets during the dissolution proceeding.
12. Who manages the finances in the marriage?
In short: If one spouse doesn't handle the finances, they may be uninformed about financial details that will affect your case.
Your divorce lawyer will want to know who typically handles the finances in your marriage. If you and your partner share those duties, are there specific areas of your finances you don’t touch or don’t know much about?
Typically, it is common for one spouse to manage all or most of the finances during the marriage. This may result in the non-managing spouse being uninformed and unaware of the financial details of the marriage. In such cases, it is important for the attorney to be aware of the financial practices during the marriage, as it will inevitably affect your case.
13. Are you open to settlement, mediation, or collaborative divorce?
In short: How you want to resolve the divorce affects cost and timeline.
Divorce lawyers ask this to assess whether alternative dispute resolution may be appropriate. Mediation or collaborative divorce can reduce expenses and emotional stress, while litigation may be necessary in high-conflict cases.
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How to Prepare for Your First Divorce Consultation
Bringing organized information helps your lawyer give clearer advice sooner.
Helpful documents include:
- Recent tax returns
- Pay stubs or income records
- Bank and retirement statements
- Mortgage and loan documents
- A list of monthly expenses
- Any existing court orders or agreements
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Why These Questions Matter
Divorce lawyers ask these questions not to judge, but to protect your rights and build an effective legal plan. Clear, honest answers help your attorney identify risks, opportunities, and the best path forward for your specific situation.
If you’re considering divorce, preparing for these questions in advance can save time, reduce stress, and lead to better outcomes.
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If you have any questions, your first consultation is a great time to ask them. Our goal is to give you as much information as possible so we can help you make the best choice for you. At our firm, we believe that the more you are empowered with knowledge, the better — we won’t be the lawyer that’s doing everything for you and leaving you out of the loop.
When you play an active role in your divorce case, you’ll be able to leave your divorce feeling like you received what was fair — no regrets, no staying up at night wondering if things had been different, and no staying stuck in the past.
Your first consultation is a free, no-obligation session, so you have nothing to lose and everything to gain from meeting us. Schedule your consultation here!
About the author
This article is provided by DeAnne Dulas, an experienced family law attorney who focuses exclusively on divorce, custody, and related family law matters. Legal outcomes depend on individual circumstances, and this information is for general educational purposes only.
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